How can Parents develop a trustworthy relationship with their children

Bonding with the child starts from his birth. It has a lot of influence in your child’s life and the overall interaction between members of your family to build a positive relationship and also help with the physical, social and emotional development of the child. Positive parent-child bonds foster autonomy, curiosity, self-esteem and better decision-making skills.

 Here are a few simple tips that can be used to deepen bonds between parents and children.

1. Start from the beginning by dedicating one-on-one time for each child—Studies show that parents who were involved with the kids in their early days had better bonding later in the life. Thus it is always important to spend time with your child from the beginning itself. Spending time together as a unit is essential. You should also set aside time to focus on each individual child. Prioritizing one-on-one time helps you form a connection with each child. It also helps you focus on each child’s individual strengths and talents. Free up part of your weekly schedule to build a special relationship with each child.

2. Devote time and effort–Parents love their kids naturally. The qualitative time and effort is part of showing this love. More time and effort you put into this relationship, stronger the bonding will be. Even though it is better to spend more time with them, you must consider their age before doing so. Teens might need privacy, while younger kids always like to have parental intervention and interaction. So you have to understand what your kids expect you to do to improve the relationship.

3. Make children a priority in your life–Your children need to know that you believe they are a priority in your life. Children can observe excessive stress and notice when they feel you are not paying them attention. So you have to spend as much time as possible with them. Making smaller schedules and excuses for your kids may weaken your bonding. They grow up so fast and every day is special. Take advantage of your precious time together while you have it. Hence make an effort to put them at the top of your priority.

4. Be available–When your kids are growing, proper interaction is needed for them to improve their skills. You must be responsive to your child’s needs. This helps to support your kids mentally and will help to strengthen your bond. You should be attentive, loving and able to see things from their perspective during this time.

5. Feel togetherness—One of the best ways to let you strengthen the relationship is to let the emotions speak. Help your children express their emotions freely. Be empathetic and make it comfortable for them to vent their emotions. This might not be easy to do for a first-time parent, but practice makes perfect. Once you have seen through their perspective more often to understand more about their behaviour, you will be better guided to help them as well.

6. Follow the 3 F’s and be open —Go by the 3 F’s to protect the overall parent-child relationship.

• Be firm. State what the consequences are and apply them consistently.
• Be fair. Make sure the punishment fits the misconduct. Try to avoid harsh or excessive consequences.
• Be friendly. Convey your words in steady yet polite tone. Avoid raising your voice. Simply explain what terms they violated and lay out the consequences. Also, take time to praise them.

As a parent, you should have good communication with your child. It should be fair, firm and friendly to keep a positive impact. Always be clear about your expectations, what they can expect from you and restrictions like ground rules. These help to have some control over your child and improve your bonding. You have to control your kids maturely and calmly for a healthy and better future for your kids. Being open about our shortcomings, fears and struggles helps our children trust that doing so is safe to do.

7. Be a part of their studies, activities and even friend’s circle

More time given to your child can help make stronger bonds. Studies have shown that the parents who get involved in their child’s life have a stronger parent-child relationship. This part of life involves having more time with them, understanding their academics and knowing their friends. Staying in touch with their teachers or volunteering at school will also help in building trust.

8. Practice active listening without distractions

Most of the kids like to talk about their life often particularly in the early days of school. Always try to listen whatever they are saying, stop whatever you are doing at the time and listen to them. You should maintain eye contact while talking to them as well. This help to let them share more of their time with you. Parents are busy but you have to ensure that your children know that you care about what they have to say. Even if your child is complaining about the same issue at school still try to give them your full attention. When you actively listen, you strengthen your bond with your child and demonstrate their importance to you.

9. Make family time important

The family is the best part of the life so have the best of the time together. Have meals together every day and talk about your day with everyone. This will help you to improve your family bonding. Family outings, going to movies and events regularly will make some fun time for everyone. It can become a quality time to be remembered by young and old alike.

10. Have faith on your child and be trustworthy

Trust is the foundation of every relationship. You must always be the trustful parent for the child to rely on at any point time. Earning this trust is a time taking process in which you must keep promises, give them privacy and keep them confident.

11. Inspire your child

Children are always active in one or the other things. But they always like someone to boost their confidence. Thus you must provide them with encouragement and motivation to build their confidence. When you criticize them on such occasions, they might be confused about themselves. So keep them spirited with your words and support.

12. Respect children’s choices

Children reach out for independence at a young age and parents can help to foster those decision-making skills by being supportive and even looking the other way on occasion. Even though your kids will more or less look to you to establish beliefs and opinions, they might have their own views on certain things. Treat your kids as individuals and acknowledge their opinions. This will help them to be more confident and to share their opinion with you.

The other ways of winning trust of your child are-

• Encourage your child to take on challenges and find independence. 
• Establish boundaries, consistency and routine
• Review rules and increase privileges as your children get older
• Include them in decisions

So it is necessary to improve your relationship with your child by getting involved with their lives and building stronger communication. Strengthening the parent-child relationship requires work and effort.  A strong parent-child connection actually makes parenting easier since children who feel more connected to their parents are more inclined to want to listen, help and follow directions. Children who feel connected also are more willing to talk to their parents about problems with friends or in school. As a parent, you can’t demand trust. It’s a gradual process that requires mutual commitment and it will inevitably strengthen your relationship. It will also set your child up to develop healthy relationships in the future.